God cares about our sex life! That’s right, God is invested in our sex life because He gave it to us as a gift. Furthermore, He delights in every detail of our lives, which includes Sex.
This is massive because have you noticed how powerful this is in our lives? Sex has the power to bring out the best in us and the worst in us. It has the power to cement a family or to destroy a family. It has the power to light a flame of love that can be felt for generations, and it has the power to burn a house down. If you think about it, there are few things in our lives that have this kind of dichotomy, which means, we must do it God’s way.
But this is why Sex can be awkward and uncomfortable to talk about in church because in truth, it triggers so many different responses. Too many of us have been hurt with sex for a variety of reasons, while others struggle privately with porn. Then you have those who are determined, no one is going to tell them what to do with sex, including God. All of this and more create a pink elephant that lingers but rarely is discussed because of all the layers we have with sex.
But I believe there’s a better way, God’s way!
We must believe that God gave us this gift to enrich us, and not restrict us. This is huge because when it comes to sex, we often think of God as old fashion and trying to tell us what not to do. But in reality, God is giving us safety and the boundaries upon which, we can enjoy sex to the fullest and be fulfilled in its gift. Just look at the Garden of Eden and think about what God did for Adam and Eve. They were given thousands of trees to eat from and enjoy, with only one being forbidden. Think about that, only one was forbidden meaning, what God gave them to enjoy was much more than what God was keeping them from (see Genesis 2:16-17).
This is the same when it comes to our sex life.
What God has given us to enjoy, is so much richer than what God has told us to avoid. And this is why the enemy is constantly tempting us and manipulating us to believe lies about sex. Especially lies about what sex is in marriage. This is where he is telling people how bad it is, how boring it is and how it’s not the best way to enjoy it. But remember, he is the father of lies and loves to deceive us in what is real and what is counterfeit (see John 8:44). But this works because, sex is so deeply a part of who we are that we can be easily lead astray when it comes to sex.
However, when I choose God‘s way it will require me to be intentional, to be focused and to be determined to fight for what God says I can have. If you are married today, believe that you can have the sex life He intended for you to have. If you are divorced, single or widowed believe, that if you want to be married, God can give you this kind of sex life. This is important to God and it’s important to us!
Notice what 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 says,
3. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. 5. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.1 Corinthians 7:3-5
This is clear about how a husband and wife should think about and practice sex with each other. We are to give ourselves to our spouse freely and willingly. Now, there’s a lot that goes into this because of the day-to-day relationship issues and the flow of life. However, our attitude should be, one of serving our spouse willingly with sex. This is why being intentional with dating and communicating is so BIG because that’s where intimacy starts. But in reality, this is where our enemy wears us down by, not talking, not dating and drifting apart because of unresolved stuff. So refuse to let this happen or refuse to let it continue because too much is on the line for your family.
I know, you may be thinking, yeah right, I wish it was that simple. I understand, however; if God gave this to us, then He can empower us to have a great sex life, even as we navigate all the challenges in our marriages. But I believe, anything worth fighting for, has rewards I’ve never had before!
Please now, there’s so many layers to this topic and different dynamics that this blog cannot cover and cannot solve. However, you can make a decision today to do sex God’s way and to believe that your current marriage or future marriage can have what God intended.
Here’s a couple of resources I highly recommend. For married couples, check out the app, Intended for pleasure. This is a christian app that is designed to help married couples in their sex life. For engaged couples or married couples, check out the book, Intended for Pleasure by Dr Wheat. It’s outstanding and a great one to have for life. I also encourage you to receive accountability in this area of your life and find a good counselor to talk to. This is both individually and as a couple, as this can help immensely in this area. Receive prayer for this and make this a part of your conversation as a married couple and as an engaged couple. Be willing to grow and be willing to be free in Christ.
I encourage you today, let God in your sex life! This is where healing is and this is where the grace of God is to heal, give more beginnings and to show you what He has for you and your spouse.
Have a great day and the best is yet to come,